Garnett to Villanueva: Make A Wish!!

After last nights Celtics/Pistons game underachieving Alopecia Universalis sufferer and Detroit Piston's Power Forward Charlie Villanueva tweeted that Kevin Garnett called him a "Cancer Patient" while trash talking during the Celtics blow out win. Alopecia Universalis, a disease resulting in hair loss has kept Villaneuva hairless for the entirety for his adult life.

Now since his trade to the Celtics Garnett has been singled out as one of the NBA's premiere trash talkers. In a response Garnett claims that he called Villaneuva "Cancerous to your team and our league"... Sure Kevin, and everybody throughout middle school was just calling me a "flag" over and over because of my patriotic Baja-poncho-hoodie-pullover and accompanying Disney fanny pack.



But as always who is right and who is wrong comes down to the timeless biblical passage from Cam'Ron 3:14

"Cuz when Feds come, N***** mouths run
But the outcome, gon' be 'bout guns
Cuz I don't bitch, and I don't snitch
I work hands on, f*** wit Cam'Ron"



So Charlie don't Twit-Snitch!! It's classless!!

FROM VILLANUEVA'S TWITTER ACCOUNT

"KG called me a cancer patient, I'm pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he's tossing it like it's a joke,"

No Dr. Villanueva, I don't know. HOW MANY people die from cancer? And don't just say "A LOT"

"I wouldn't even trip about that, but a cancer patient, I know way 2 many people who passed away from it, and I have a special place 4 those"

Ok I'm with you here Charlie. Cancer sucks. Good to see you're taking the high road...

"KG talks alot of crap, he's prob never been in a fight, I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him"

Annnnnnd you lost me. Really Charlie?! Challenging KG to a fight via twitter is pretty much the same as asking your best friend to tell the girl who sits in front of you during math class that you're into her... via myspace. I'm disappointed in you.

As it goes in America win and all is forgotten So don't expect much of a KG backlash on this one... However Charlie V, if you can continue to keep up the strong bench play you've shown so far with Detroit you may just earn enough respect to win back your starting PF slot... or at the very least finally get to meet Joe Naimith...

SPOILER ALERT: Bobby isn't actually sick... Cindy just wrote a make-a-wish letter to Broadway Joe pleading for him to pay a visit to her dying broseph

Chris Dudley For President!!

Ok so clearly it hasn't gotten that out of control yet but Chris Dudley and Shawn Bradley both ran in Tuesday's election. Chris for Governor of Oregon, and Shawn for lankiest mormon phsyically birthed/Utah Congressman.

In unsurprising news Bradley lost terribly in his bid for hometown-hero-backdoor-republican. However Chris Dudley, the Yale educated staunchly republican Center who played most of his years for the Portland Trailblazers had a real shot in Oregon losing by a slim margin to John Kitzahber a progressive democrat who for the record never got his face f***-dunked by Shaq.

Sorry Chris, I'm Sure Your Parents Are Proud But Yale's no HARVARD!!

Dudley clearly a thinker of clarity and vision was infamously one of the NBA's career worst Free Throw shooters at .458%. On April 14 he missed 17 of 18 free throws in a 124-113 loss to the Indiana Pacers. In that game he broke Wilt Chamberlain s NBA record by missing 13 straight free throws, one of them an airball. Dudley wound up with a league-worst .319 free-throw percentage that year.

As shooting Free Throws is predominantly equal parts mental and muscle memory I ask you this fair citizens of Oregon: Who do you want shooting your Free Throws?

But let's not let Bradley off easy. A BYU boy at heart who just couldn't ever get his body fat percentage above -.3% during his career Bradley IS the origin of the word "posterized". I could dig up countless Fleer Upperdeck Cards to corroborate this allegation... BELIEVE ME!!

Instead Trippell Dubbellers I'll leave you with this montage... Hope you voted and lets keep the "3 Second Violation" alive and well in all sectors of government!!



POST SCRIPT: Just Can't Resist